Places We Ought Not To Go

For reasons that only boring, middle-aged people can understand, we need to replace our aged washer and dryer. They are past their prime, with the peculiar habits of wandering about the room on their own and sometimes making horrendous noises - not unlike the miserable kids in the next room who need you to know they're there.

Researching and purchasing replacements is, perhaps, a subject best left for another time. Needless to say, technology has changed in the last 20 years and I had no idea that I needed 'steam technology' and user-selectable cycle tones. I still have no idea if I need these things, but if they make our whites whiter than white, I'll be impressed, I guess.

The new hardware arrives tomorrow sometime between 4pm and 9pm - a slightly better service target than Bell Canada and Rogers Cable. Since the delivery guys will be hauling away the old equipment, my job is to ensure it's all unplugged and de-plumbed. I had not considered that there might be 'stuff' under the old appliances that should not be 'stuff' under the new appliances.

I won't go into specifics. I'm a gentleman, after all. But I will confirm that liberal applications of brake cleaner and Mr. Clean were needed to create a pristine home for our newest additions. I can only surmise that the old hardware was in a sickly way - or I've stumbled upon the secret burial ground for all the left-foot socks we've written off as lost over the last decade.