Saturday, February 03, 2007

Chain Blog?

Normally, I don't go much for chain letters. I think it started with a rather embarrassing exchange with a Cub Leader back when I wore a leather woggle. It involved a hole in my pocket, a chain letter from a (girl)friend, and a very public discovery (and lecture) by said Cub Leader.

While you think about that, I'll talk about this.

I'm not sure of the feminine equivalent of a Bon Vivant; but whatever it is, it describes Sheena. So when she tagged me with a chain letter of sorts, I knew I'd be obliged to comply. Frankly, I'd rather not be on the wrong side of sarcasm where Sheena is concerned. I think her words can kill.

So here is for all the world to see: 6 Weird Things About Crazylegs.

1. I cannot stand to see or hear a refridgerator door slam shut. I really can't. When making a sandwich (or whatever), I'll leave the fridge door open until I'm done. Open once. Close once. And since our fridge has never been perfectly leveled, I've had to discover the exact point at which the door equilibrium is matched between 'open' and 'close'.

2. Under the right conditions (spirits can play a part), I can dislocate my left shoulder - and then pop it back in again. This is not a natural talent, but the result of an unfortunate sporting accident from 20 years ago. I prefer not to do this since it hurts the next day. Also, there is no empirical evidence that this ability gets me invited to more parties. Or maybe that should read any parties.

3. I can do cartoon voices - some really well. My Scooby Doo is outstanding and, consequently, children love me. However, I get embarrassed if someone asks me to "do that Scooby Doo voice" and I typically find an excuse to beg off. I only feel comfortable doing these cartoon voices if it's my idea. So don't ask, okay?

4. I did not date in high school. I wanted to, but I just didn't. In hindsight, I know some girls who wondered why I never asked them out. This proves that regular sessions of Dungeons and Dragons and Risk where not necessarily stunting my sex appeal. So why didn't I? Who knows...

5. I'm just 44 years old, and I think about retirement. I think about a lot. I'm betting not a day goes by when the thought of retirement doesn't cross my mind. Whether I love my job or hate it (I don't happen to be lovin' it right now), I'd think about the fact that it's just 11 short years until I'm 55. In all likelihood, I can't retire when 55 - but I'm in denial. Even weirder, there's nothing I'm particularly looking forward to in retirement. I have some vague ideas about travel, hobbies, and volunteering. But the real allure seems to be just 'not working for a living'. The reality may involve dumpsters. I can't wait!

6. Back to the physical abnormalities department: I can wiggle my ears and my nose. I can wiggle them independently. I can wiggle them in grand unison. My kids have never considered this entertaining and, in all honesty, this used to creep them out. Now they simply consider all of this as one of the many annoyances I bring to their lives.

There you have them. This was actually harder than I thought because I've never thought about myself as 'weird'. It must be the people I surround myself with.

Now, to complete Sheena's bargain - and risk losing the majority of my semi-regular readership - I pass the torch to:

Kid Dork

Good luck.


Sonny Drysdale said...

Hey - I do a pretty good "Shaggy" imitation. Maybe we should get a routine up and apply for a government grant to do the "Fringe festival" circuit.

I refuse to do amateur night at Yuk-Yuks. A 'Scoob n' Shaggy Show' in suitable only 'cultural' events and state occassions.

Sonny Drysdale said...

.... damn that faulty 'preview' button - that should read, "IS suitable only FOR cultural events and state occassions."

Sheena said...

Heh heh.. thanks for playing.

David said...

Ahh crap. I asked my sweet and dear wife if I had any weird characteristics and she was struck dumb. Now I have to I have to invent something; thanks for making me think, you magnificent bastard!

David said...

I will have to agree with honshui that #1 is truly weird. I wish I had something like that in my quiver.

Anonymous said...