Friday, November 09, 2012


This is a play in 1 Act, inspired by an actual event that happened a few days ago at the place where I work.


Crazylegs is on an elevator on its way to the ground floor. It stops to pickup more passengers - the doors opening to let two middle-aged men, Bob and Tom, onto the elevator. Crazylegs steps to the rear and observes. Bob sniffs the air in an obvious fashion.

Hey! I smell fries. Someone got their lunch, I guess. Smells good!

It does smell good. Definitely the kind of smell that guys notice. I'll follow that smell anywhere when I'm hungry. 

Well I do like my fries. My wife hates fries, though. We hardly ever have them at home. I think I'd like some fries right now!

That's what I mean. The smell of fries does something to men. We should get some fries.

There is a pause in the conversation. Crazylegs avoids any eye contact while Bob and Tom study the display above the door, watching the floor numbers change.

Do you think it works on gay guys - the frie smell thing?

I'm not sure. Maybe it does... Hey - don't ask, don't tell! Right? Am I right?

Bob and Tom chuckle in that way that only frie-loving manly-men can chuckle. The elevator doors open and the occupants leave. Crazylegs makes a point of lagging behind a little bit, just to think for a moment and try to make sense of things.

As a post-script to this little vignette, I can confirm that neither Bob or Tom bought french-fries for lunch that day.


Unknown said...

Hahahaha! You poor, poor man! I hope you win the lottery today so you can get out of there.

Alexis Shabadoo Jr. said...

It's a Kevin Smith film. If they walk out into gunfire, it's a Tarantino project.

Plumsauce10 said...

Wow, I had no idea how hetersexual and manly fries are... this has changed my whole outlook on life.

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