Geek Clutter

There be Geeks here, so be warned.

I collect a lot of crap; especially odd things I run across on the Net. The only trait worse than being a website pack-rat is the act of squirreling stuff into forgotten corners. And the only thing worse than that is using two rodent references in a single sentence. So, I guess I'm guilty on all counts.

Today I ran across an interesting Star Wars story. And as I prepared to squirrel... oops....archive the website, I ran across a folder of bookmarks entitled Star Wars. Obviously this was created during one of my legendary creative periods, but finding it (again) was just the kick-in-the-lightsabre I needed to do a thorough airing out of all the weirdly useless bookmarks I've collected in past months.

But the Star Wars folder seems to be a keeper. Whether you're into the whole George Lucas scene or not, none can deny that the man created a happy cult. How else can one explain the time, effort, dedication, talent, and general weirdness that Star Wars has fed through the years?

So here's a small shrine to the uber-Geeks of Star Wars. May you all experience the Sun and kiss a girl someday soon. Oh that I had a tenth of your talents.

-- The story that started this post; a Chicago suburbanite decides to make his own Star Wars movie. Long live public access television!

-- I don't know how or why I have this, but it cracks me up; slightly more mature than fart jokes.

-- Quite possibly the geekiest video ever made; simply and utterly amazing.

-- My personal favourite (and likely a tip from Kid Dork). As a fan and a horribly amateur video-maker, this is High Art to me.

Now the clutter is put into slightly neater piles, and there's room for new shiny things. I wonder what's in the other 28 folders of bookmarks...

Life is Februray

Many years ago, I was with a group of friends at bar. Everyone was just cutting loose - chatting, drinking, smoking (those were the good ol' days). Through the general din and nonsense, Someone said something and Someone Else misheard Someone and, magically, the phrase Life is February entered our lexicon.

We laughed a bit at how a mistake-of-the-ear in a student bar on a Friday night could produce such a pithy philosophy. But we knew it was true. Life is February, sometimes - too short from the outside, too long from the inside, a little bit odd, a little bit overcast, and a little purposeless. What's February for after all? What it's reason for being? Why does it seem to last forever and, yet, get nowhere in particular?

That's kind of how it's been this month for me. Too much shit to worry about and too little energy to deal with it, but I'm determined to make progress. I just need to get something done - get something behind me.

And this is how it starts - post something here after almost 2 weeks of silence. It's not really for you; it's for me. And I just accomplished something.

Think I'm going to track down Shinobi and watch it with JediBoy.

Chain Blog?

Normally, I don't go much for chain letters. I think it started with a rather embarrassing exchange with a Cub Leader back when I wore a leather woggle. It involved a hole in my pocket, a chain letter from a (girl)friend, and a very public discovery (and lecture) by said Cub Leader.

While you think about that, I'll talk about this.

I'm not sure of the feminine equivalent of a Bon Vivant; but whatever it is, it describes Sheena. So when she tagged me with a chain letter of sorts, I knew I'd be obliged to comply. Frankly, I'd rather not be on the wrong side of sarcasm where Sheena is concerned. I think her words can kill.

So here is for all the world to see: 6 Weird Things About Crazylegs.

1. I cannot stand to see or hear a refridgerator door slam shut. I really can't. When making a sandwich (or whatever), I'll leave the fridge door open until I'm done. Open once. Close once. And since our fridge has never been perfectly leveled, I've had to discover the exact point at which the door equilibrium is matched between 'open' and 'close'.

2. Under the right conditions (spirits can play a part), I can dislocate my left shoulder - and then pop it back in again. This is not a natural talent, but the result of an unfortunate sporting accident from 20 years ago. I prefer not to do this since it hurts the next day. Also, there is no empirical evidence that this ability gets me invited to more parties. Or maybe that should read any parties.

3. I can do cartoon voices - some really well. My Scooby Doo is outstanding and, consequently, children love me. However, I get embarrassed if someone asks me to "do that Scooby Doo voice" and I typically find an excuse to beg off. I only feel comfortable doing these cartoon voices if it's my idea. So don't ask, okay?

4. I did not date in high school. I wanted to, but I just didn't. In hindsight, I know some girls who wondered why I never asked them out. This proves that regular sessions of Dungeons and Dragons and Risk where not necessarily stunting my sex appeal. So why didn't I? Who knows...

5. I'm just 44 years old, and I think about retirement. I think about a lot. I'm betting not a day goes by when the thought of retirement doesn't cross my mind. Whether I love my job or hate it (I don't happen to be lovin' it right now), I'd think about the fact that it's just 11 short years until I'm 55. In all likelihood, I can't retire when 55 - but I'm in denial. Even weirder, there's nothing I'm particularly looking forward to in retirement. I have some vague ideas about travel, hobbies, and volunteering. But the real allure seems to be just 'not working for a living'. The reality may involve dumpsters. I can't wait!

6. Back to the physical abnormalities department: I can wiggle my ears and my nose. I can wiggle them independently. I can wiggle them in grand unison. My kids have never considered this entertaining and, in all honesty, this used to creep them out. Now they simply consider all of this as one of the many annoyances I bring to their lives.

There you have them. This was actually harder than I thought because I've never thought about myself as 'weird'. It must be the people I surround myself with.

Now, to complete Sheena's bargain - and risk losing the majority of my semi-regular readership - I pass the torch to:

Kid Dork
David
Sonny

Good luck.