About a year ago I took a business-related train ride during which I spent my time abusing the free wi-fi to annoy my kids. I recently found myself repeating that train journey - with instructions from my kids to annoy them some more. While I obliged them, I will admit that my latest efforts were not up-to-scratch. Nevertheless, I need content - any content - to fill this space, so here is the latest series of emails intended to annoy my long-suffering offspring as I travelled to Toronto and back on good ol' Via1.
Email #1 - Going to Toronto
They just gave me a washcloth. On the train! It's really hot, too. They
think we're all dirty passengers, I guess. The Via people are starting
off on the wrong foot here!
Email #2 - Going to Toronto
Ho ho! Via is being nicer now that we are clean! Here's my apetizer:
smoked meat, cheese, and little tomatos! Soon they will bring me
sourdough rolls and wine. Yay Via! Yay being a clean passenger!
Email #3 - Going to Toronto
Oh noes! There's the Royal York! It looks pretty spooky. I wonder if
it's haunted. What do you think? Should I go inside? If there are ghosts
in there I won't be happy. I'll say to them "Hey ghosts! I didn't want
to come in here but those kids of mine said I should. You just better
talk to THEM!".
So if you see a ghost later, you'll know why!
Email #4 - In Toronto
Email #5 - On the way home
Email #6 - On the way home
Wait! It's not the Via guys. It's those ghosts from Toronto. They're on the train and making trouble for us passengers! Arghh!!
So the narrative here is not very cohesive. I get that. Blame the very generous Via1 bar cart and my lack of self-control.