Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Still Quite The Idiot

About a year ago I took a business-related train ride during which I spent my time abusing the free wi-fi to annoy my kids. I recently found myself repeating that train journey - with instructions from my kids to annoy them some more. While I obliged them, I will admit that my latest efforts were not up-to-scratch. Nevertheless, I need content - any content - to fill this space, so here is the latest series of emails intended to annoy my long-suffering offspring as I travelled to Toronto and back on good ol' Via1.

Email #1 - Going to Toronto
They just gave me a washcloth. On the train! It's really hot, too. They think we're all dirty passengers, I guess. The Via people are starting off on the wrong foot here!

Email #2 - Going to Toronto
 Ho ho! Via is being nicer now that we are clean! Here's my apetizer: smoked meat, cheese, and little tomatos! Soon they will bring me sourdough rolls and wine. Yay Via! Yay being a clean passenger!

Email #3 - Going to Toronto
Oh noes! There's the Royal York! It looks pretty spooky. I wonder if it's haunted. What do you think? Should I go inside? If there are ghosts in there I won't be happy. I'll say to them "Hey ghosts! I didn't want to come in here but those kids of mine said I should. You just better talk to THEM!".

So if you see a ghost later, you'll know why!

Email #4 - In Toronto
Well there's the fancy lobby of the Royal York. Just like I thought - it's pretty full of ghosts! Do you see them in the lobby down there? They look like people, but they're ghosts I tell you!  I better get back on the train. I hope they don't follow me home!!!!

Email #5 - On the way home
This is the train station in Toronto. It's pretty spooky, too! What is this town - Spookyville?

Email #6 - On the way home
Hold on a minute! Those via guys are up to no good! My Via dinner is the exact same as my Via lunch!! Oh those tricksters!

Wait! It's not the Via guys. It's those ghosts from Toronto. They're on the train and making trouble for us passengers! Arghh!!

So the narrative here is not very cohesive. I get that. Blame the very generous Via1 bar cart and my lack of self-control.

1 comment:

David said...

In picture #4, those aren't ghosts. That is a clever illusion known as "Pepper's ghost".

Sorry to break it to you this way Sport, but your Mom and I thought you should know.

FYI, we flushed your fish.

Sorry again Sport.