Think me as a first-time caller and long-time listener. Over the years I've developed a not-insubstantial dollop of respect for you - as a politician and leader of the federal NDP. While relegated as the '3rd man' in election after election, I have to admire how you've maintained your earnestness for the job, your sense of justice and empathy for us common schmucks. It's gotta be tough to have your electoral butt handed to you time after time and still look like you care. And I always thought you did - care, that is.
Now, I'm going to be honest with you, Jack. I'd never vote for the federal NDP - not in a million years. I once voted for Bob Rae and.... you get the picture. Like frumpy old Ed Broadbent before you, Jack, you've always been the right guy in the wrong party for my tastes.
But not anymore. Not after this election. You've seen Stornoway within your reach and it's changed you, man. You've become.... a politician. You talk and you talk and nonsense comes out of your mouth - dangerous nonsense. You're going to tax the big bad corporations and share the spoils: national childcare, national eldercare, more manufacturing jobs. Okay, I get that. I really do. It's the standard NDP mantra, right? Make the rich pay, pump up social spending, subsidize the CAW. I get it.
But what's this stuff you're saying about saving our mortgages, saving our insurance companies, solving our banking crisis, fixing the stock market, saving the manufacturing sector? I don't get it. To hear you speak in the last few weeks, Canadians have become extras in a remake of The Grapes of Wrath. Our clothes are torn and dirty, our faces are sullen and hollow-eyed. We're living on the streets, wandering the dustbowl, and everything is devoid of colour. Sack cloth and ashes, Jack?
What world is this? Who are you talking about, Jack? Where's our banking crisis? I don't get it - and neither do you. You know you're talking nonsense in a time when intelligent, thoughtful leadership is sorely needed. There is no Canadian banking crisis - far from it. There is no Canadian mortgage meltdown. You cannot 'fix' the stockmarket with a stroke of NDP legislation. That stuff might play well in the Union Hall, but it's not helpful and, frankly, it makes you look stupid.
So, Jack, why don't you talk about the stuff that really matters? You want to blast the other parties for a lack of manufacturing strategy? Fine. That's cool. But let's hear your ideas, man. Let's have a really honest discussion about the fact that China and Mexico and the Southern US are taking those jobs because they can do them cheaper. They're not coming back anytime soon. Hey! Let's talk about global warning in an honest way, too (and this goes for Mssrs. Harper and Dion and Mme. May). Let's stop pretending that economic sanctions are going to solve the problem. They won't - at least not by themselves. These are hard things to talk about. They won't be solved in a single term - maybe not in a generation.
In short, Jack, shut the fuck up and stop being a prick. It's not helpful. It's just annoying. Please grow up.