Thursday, June 29, 2006

They're Making Me Grow Up - Part 2

So, apparently I'm old. And I can tell you when it happened; Monday, June 26 at approximately 8pm. There were plenty of witnesses to the event, too. You see, my daughter aka oldest kid aka Band Geek (sister to Jedi Boy) graduated from Grade 8. Officially a teenager since December last, and now, officially a High School Student.

So why does this make me old? Well, Gentle Reader - two reasons:

One - remember, it's all about Me. Or have you not been reading here lately?

Two - Things are changing. I cried a little as Band Geek picked up her diploma and a bevy of awards for those extra-curricular pursuits that Band Geeks...well....pursue. I was proud. Bursting even. And as hackneyed as it sounds, I sat there pining for the days when she was a bonafide little kid and I was Daddy and nothing was ever gonna change. There were even those lightening flashes of doubt. Could I have been (or be) a better Dad? Should I have done things differently? Yes and yes, I decided. I wanted a 'do-over', a parental Mulligan.

But I'm too late. It's changing. I can detect the subtle shifts even now - growing independence, newfound confidence, chafing under the authoritative yoke of The Parents. She has her own interests which, admittedly, still require the gentle indulgences of Mom and Dad. Me, I'm watching the old home movies more and more; recalling the good times when it was just Mom, Dad, and two needy little kids. Damn her growing up when I wasn't looking!

My single, irrational fear - wondering about the precise instant when Band Geek (and Jedi Boy, for that matter) will no longer be interested in doing The Family Vacation. For me, these have been sacred events. Just the four of us having an adventure. Together, we've walked on glaciers, shot whitewater rapids in silly divesuits, touched whales while hanging over the side of a Zodiac, scuba-dived in the world's largest aquarium, snorkeled with stingrays in the open ocean, taken Ghost Walks though Old Quebec City, seen every friggin' Pixar/Harry Potter/Disney/whatever movie on the big screen, geocached our way across the Maritimes, and spent way too much time riding Big Thunder Mountain at DisneyWorld.

Always just the four of us.

This is what I think about. I have loved every moment of our adventures, but Band Geek's milestone makes me realize that Things Will Change - and soon. In just a few short years it'll be boyfriends, a driver's license, Spring Break (not bloody likely), giddy weekends away with friends, a first beer, university, and.... her own life. Time will simply accelerate.

Ah, but I feel umbilical cord fraying.

5 comments:

Kid Dork said...

But look at it this way: you've had that experience. Your life with your kids sounds astounding and a treasure. And not to get all Hallmark, but you have something many people would give anything to have: happy, healthy kids.

Yes, you're getting old, dear friend. But it beats the hell out of the alternative.

Crazylegs said...

Thanks, KD. You're so right, I am bloody lucky in so many ways! But these milestones just kinda sneak up on us, sometimes. You know that feeling we had as kids, where we were immortal and time always stood still? I've never really lost it (and I'm thinking you probably haven't either).

While I'm in my early 40's now, I just never think about 'age' in terms of time. Rather, I always think about it in terms of 'events'. So one minute I'm updating my email address on TheForce.net - and the next minute I'm setting my first curfew. I just marvel at the dichotomy here. So Band Geek's grad night was just one of those "Holy shit, who woulda thought.... but isn't that cool?" moments.

But I swear to insert appropriate deity or earthly figure of respect that I'm keeping my army of Star Wars robots and I will, indeed, finish Tomb Raider: Legend.

By the way, did you catch the review of JPod in the July 1 Freeps? I think I'm enjoying the book more than some people.

Kid Dork said...

Am reading JPod right now, and am enjoying it. I didn't appreciate the ten pages of prime numbers, but other than that, it's fun.

Funny--I offered to review JPod for free for the Freeps. They ignored me.

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